A traffic cop pulls a car over for speeding.

Cop: “Sir, do you know you were doing 90 mph in a 60 zone?”

Driver: “ Yes! I’m Sorry, but that’s because I was racing another car and lost track of the speed.”

Since he did not see any car besides that, the cop asks – “Sir, have you been drinking?”

Driver: “A little bit of Whisky, but just because I needed something to delay the LSD I took for this party I’m going to!”

Cop: “LSD? Sir, I need you to step out of the car! Is there anything else I need to know? Drugs, Firearms?”

Driver: “Sure! There is at least 5 pounds of cocaine in my glove department and an AK-47 under my seat! But please, don’t open the trunk, or the person I just kidnapped could escape!”

The cop, not believing in what he heard and a little afraid, tells the man to get out of his car, and sit on the curb while he called his superior!

At his arrival, the cop told the Sheriff all that. The Sheriff told him to wait by their cars and goes to speak with the driver…

Sheriff: “Sir, my subordinate told me you have a kidnapped person in your trunk!”

Driver opens the trunk: “As you can see, there’s no one here, but my jack and spare tire”

Sheriff: “What about the AK under your seat?”

Driver pulling his seat forward: “It’s just an umbrella!! I’ve never owned a gun of any kind!”

Sheriff: “I see! And the cocaine in your glove compartment”

Driver opens the glove compartment: “you must be kidding me! Only my registration’s there!”

Sheriff: “Have you been drinking or engaging in any kind of drugs?”

Driver: “Sir, I don’t smoke and I don’t even drink soda-pop! I’ve been in my home all night with my mom and she’s the most fervently religious woman you’ve ever known! That cop over there must be kidding with you! He told you I was drunk, took drugs, was armed, and a drug dealer, and had kidnapped someone? What’s next? That I was speeding too?”